NOT in a good place…

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Have you EVER been in a “NOT SO GOOD” place?  I have. A few times. I don’t have ANY pix of them… BUT… when I saw this pic… it brought back ALL that was BAD in my life at that time! I am so glad we took this memory trip… it is just ANOTHER reminder just HOW GOOD GOD IS!

This house was while we were at Garden Grove… and before I came to grips with MY STORY

We lived in this house ONLY 3 months… it was NOT a fun house… There was NO insulation, so it was COLD all the time. Our queen size bed was wall 2 wall one way and wall 2 wall the other way =( we did a lot of  “crawling”  IN and OUT of bed. We had a CUTE little cockatoo bird that a RAT… that was in the house TORMENTED! – Ok… THAT was really FUNNY! AND kinda FREAKY at the same time!

I had a miscarraage while we lived there.  My heart was sad.  I really felt like I was not going to have another baby… that I killed the ONLY baby I would ever have.  I HURT.

I KNEW God loved me… I KNEW I was forgiven… I did NOT know He would allow me to have another baby.

I was getting bitter… I was being selfish… I was not appreciative of the house that GOD did provide for us at this point in our life. I was NOT fun to be around. I cried EVERY DAY. I don’t remember HOW I got out this depression… I know we did get to move. I was so NOT in a good place that I truly do not remember MOST of being IN this house… other than PAIN. And we were there ONLY 3 months… it felt like FOREVER.

I remember once we moved… I felt better… like life was improving… and I saw LIGHT at the end of my DARK tunnel.  God knew what I needed WHEN I needed it… even when I did NOT!

I am usually a SUPER optimistic person… and one that does KNOW God has HIS best for me. BUT, I am human. I have been in times of “NOT IN A GOOD PLACE”  – yet I KNOW HE has ALWAYS been with me… ALWAYS.

I just LOVE… LOVE… LOVE this verse…  Ezekiel 36:26

Moreover,
I will give you a new heart
and put a new spirit within you;
and I will remove the heart of stone
from your flesh and

give you a heart of flesh.

This IS what GOD did for me… and I am so grateful… having a heart of flesh HURTS sometimes – and I am so THANKFUL to be able to feel… to hurt.

Please… don’t have a heart of stone… LET God work IN you… thru YOU… even when you are hurt! This may be the BEST time for YOU to see God do a miracle!

LORD, I remember this time in my life… it was VERY dark… yet I knew YOU were with me. I was so selfish YET You took care of me. I am sorry I don’t remember much – other than knowing YOU had me in Your loving arms. PLEASE be with anyone right now reading this that may be in a DARK time… Let them FEEL You… KNOW You are with them…
I LOVE YOU!
PAM